Metalsmithing Class Part XI: What A Disaster

Well, my last Jewelry I class was last night and it didn't go well at all. I was hoping to finish my bezel pendant ... and didn't. I was hoping to finish my earrings ... and didn't And I completely SUCK at soldering. I attempted to make a jumpring to attach to my pendant. Usually, I don't bother to solder jumprings as they stay intact on their own. But my teacher insisted and I know I need the practice. I made the jumpring itself without any problems, but then the usual issues came up. The ends weren't filed flat enough to solder. I tried to file them correctly. I made them worse. I think that part of the problem is that I a) have fat fingers and b) have pretty unsteady hands. I just find it hard to hold an itty bitty jumpring still and file the ends completely flat without moving it or moving the file out of whack. My teacher has delicate, little hands so, of course, it's easy for her. I don't know what happened -- maybe because I haven't been sleeping well -- but I just SNAPPED. I seriously began to cry, but ran to the bathroom before anyone could see me. I was just so frustrated. I mean, soldering is a very basic skill and if I can't even use a file correctly, how in the hell am I supposed to make more intricate jewelry? I think the teacher could tell how upset I was getting because she told me that it was close and I should go ahead and solder it. Now I had to deal with placing itty bitty pieces of solder on the seam. Again, this is me dealing with little pieces and an unsteady hand ... and the task seemed impossible. I went to heat the piece and the solder wouldn't melt. I then put more heat on it ... and I melted the entire jumpring off. Sigh. I'm so sick of looking at this stupid, now burned pendant that I'm about ready to toss the entire thing into the fire and just start a new project. I really, really don't like soldering and it's makiing me question whether I want to continue as a metalsmith. I'm also wondering if I'd do better with another teacher. I guess I'll find out when I start my classes next week.

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